Today was the first time I stepped out of the edge of my comfort zone to post on Instagram with my voice! I posted about the fun experiment I had with Human Design sacral response. It was something I have thought of doing ever since I read the post by Stacey on the fear of being seen. I love how she suggested stepping at the edge of the comfort zone instead of jumping way out of the comfort zone.
I'm conscious of my fear of being seen, my fear of not being understood, and I've the self-limiting belief that I'm bad at speaking. Putting my voice out there is a big challenge for me that I've struggled for a long time.
As this Instagram post is something that my sacral energy lead me to do with excitement, the joy and fun I had creating the video overshadowed the fears and self-doubts that tried to creep up. Upon finishing the reel, I felt so much joy and excitement overflow, with immense satisfaction. I celebrated this wondrous feeling and achievement by dancing and shaking crazily in my room! (I wonder what my husband was thinking when he saw that)
As I felt as one with the universe at that moment, I received my Gene Key report from Vanessa Hallick for the Paid To Be You Certification program. It was something that I've been looking forward to! Talk about divine timing and excitement multiplied!
Soon, I realised I have yet to post the video on Instagram so I took action to post it while my dopamine was still high.
Not long after, I was filled with dread. Fears... LOTS of fears crept up. Fear of judgement, fear of not speaking clear enough, fear of being misunderstood, fear of imperfection... Doubting whether I posted the right content, doubting whether I should have posted that video in the first place...
In the past, I used to stuff them back down right away and force myself to think positive thoughts... However, I've learnt not to reject my emotions immediately, providing them a platform to express themselves, and look at what gifts they brought. As the emotions are still strong after looking at them gently, I did an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping by Brad Yates. I followed up with a meditation to release the energy of fears and limiting beliefs.
I'm really glad for the tools that I've learnt in the past one month to help with my inner work. Inner work can be unpleasant sometimes but I always come out as a new person after. The key here really is... Do we only realise the gift from the inner work and not do anything with it? Or do we embrace them and integrate them into our lives?
Signing off,
Jane Ong (@janeojy)
4/6 Sacral Alchemist
